Will We Ever Return to Normal?

In this Twilight-zone-world we're living in,
getting a stylish face mask is a thing.

When I actually think about what's happening in the world, I get a disoriented feeling, like we're stuck in an episode of The Twilight Zone. 

Returning to Normal

Our loon returned to the lake we live on a few weeks ago.  This is a sure sign that summer is coming.  I say "our" because he returns year after year.  He comes before his mate to prepare the nest.  She's not here yet, but I suspect she will be soon.  Unfortunately, the weather this week is cool with even some snowflakes still falling. The lake is fully thawed, though, and today I got to see him outside my dining room window as he dove down into the cold water for his meal. At night, especially if we can have the window open, we listen to his beautiful loon calls. 
He has no idea that the world around him is different.  That the people are shut up in their homes. That the fishing boats (motorized that is) will not be bugging him for at least another 17 days per the shelter-in-place order that was made last week by our Michigan governor. No, he had no idea that there's a deadly virus that has brought our lives to a screeching halt. For him, life continues on and he has to prepare the nest so that he and his mate can make a home in which they will raise their nestlings (hopefully at least two) before leaving again in late September.
We, however, have no hope of returning to our normal any time very soon.  Our strict shelter-in-place order is until the end of April, but some are saying that the worst of the outbreak won't hit Michigan until early May.  And even when the stay-at-home order is lifted, normalcy will be a long-time-coming and probably, never again.



When we first started hearing about
"The Corona Virus" from our leaders,
statements like "We've got this under control"
never made me think we'd be at 586,057 confirmed
cases in the USA with 23,604 deaths and 43,637 recovered
as of 4/13/20.



Understating Facts 

I'm not going to mince words. I do not respect in any way our current president.  It's not a political thing (although, I confess I lean liberal). It's a person-thing.  I believe nothing he says.  His conduct during this pandemic has been dangerous and misleading from the start.  We now find out that he was formally informed as early as January 3rd that COVID-19 would make its way into the USA.  Then, late January, members of his own cabinet sent memos stating, "...coronavirus had the potential to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans and derail the US economy unless tough action was taken immediately..."-New York Times. 
On January 30th at a Michigan Rally, Trump says, “We think we have it very well under control. We have very little problem in this country at this moment — five — and those people are all recuperating successfully. But we’re working very closely with China and other countries, and we think it’s going to have a very good ending for us … that I can assure you.” Saying this is an understatement is in itself an egregious understatement.
As we celebrated the New Year, your average American had no idea what was on its way and just how this would bring us all into a real "Twilight Zone" of nothing makes sense. I could list on and on, even to this day, the understatements, incorrect information, or out-right lies our president has said about the state of COVID-19 in our country. 
Luckily, other people in authority (mostly our governors) have taken the lead on keeping the people as safe as they are able. 



One treasure we have in Michigan
is our state parks. We can still
visit many of them as long as we
maintain our social distancing protocols.
Lake Michigan and the sand dunes on a sunny day
this past week provided a much-needed reprieve. 

Social Distancing to Flatten the Curve

On March 13th in Michigan, Governor Whitmer closed all schools. For me, this is when I really understood that this was serious. The initial timeline was to close them for 3-weeks.  As time went on and Detroit became one of the cities with the highest number of people infected, it was apparent that things were only ramping up.  On April 2nd, Whitmer closed the schools for the rest of the year.  
I have not left my home area to go to a store or anything (except one aborted medical lab visit for a blood draw due to it being closed) since March 13th. My husband has done all the out in the world errands.  He found two N95 masks in his work closet.  He had bought them four years ago when he was sanding and painting the walls and ceiling of our newly built home. While he jokes that he's just into a few of the risk categories (about to turn 60, had a heart attack 20 years ago, and slight signs of asthma that is being monitored by his doctor), I'm thankful that he has that mask and is wearing it whenever he goes out.



"From Day 0 to Day 12, the U.S. was in a period of 
dramatic growth in cases, marked by a consistently high day-over-day growth in cases, exceeding 1.35x per day. Beginning only days after implementing extreme social distancing, we began to see a dramatic decline 
in the daily growth in both cases! 
Most importantly, we also see this trend 
in the mortality figures!" 



The reports are showing that the #stayhome #staysafe #savelives protocol is working.  I truly understand I have an ideal situation where I am to hunker down (wooded trails in our community's property and a lake out front).  However, we each have a role to play here and now. We each can contribute to the outcome of this horrendous event. Let us be strong. Let us be smart. Let us save lives.



This was the last time that
we got together normally. Now,
we Zoom nearly every day.
It just isn't the same.

Stressing the Good

My concern right now is the impact this time has on our little ones.  It's confusing.  My granddaughter had loved going to preschool, making good friends, and learning a lot from her talented teachers. She hung out at our house two days a week while her mom worked. All of that is has stopped for now.
She lives for holidays of any sort and two of the biggest for her, Easter and her 5th birthday, were this week. Usually, we have a big Easter egg hunt outside at our house. For her birthday, we have a large gathering, decorating the house in fairies, or trolls, kitties, or mermaids-whatever her chosen theme. But, we had to cancel it for now.
So, her mom and dad did an awesome egg hunt at their apartment and then took her to Hoffmaster State park (the photo above is from that day.) The night before her birthday, they blew up all sorts of balloons and sneaked them into her bedroom for her to see when she woke up. We zoomed as she opened presents. We played a fun charades game, too. 

We are determined to help her through this time.  Her mom has OCD and has gone through a lot of therapy to get to a place where she's not washing her hands a million times a day and constantly cleaning. So, this virus is truly her scariest dream coming into reality.  She's doing her best to keep her demons at bay and not let it affect her family.
The other day, when my son had the morning off from working as a service manager at a local grocery store, they went outside to play.  They sent me this encouraging photo.  I'm sure everyone who walked past it that day felt a surge of hope. 



We do. We got this.
Not that we can
control the virus that is taking
so many lives, but we can
and will get through this time-together.




Celebrating

And so, I'm taking this time to celebrate the good and beauty in this world.  We humans sure can make a mess of things, but we also really can bring so much wonder and love.  I am choosing to focus on that because what we focus on grows. 

This morning as I did the LovingKindness meditation (click live-link for the audio) from the MBSR (Mindfullybased Stress Reduction) Meditation course through palousemindfulness.com, I decided to send lovingkindness to President Trump.  "May you be healthy, happy, and whole. May you be safe, protected, and free from harm. May you be alive, joyful, and have inner peace."

What are you focusing on during this time? What are you bringing to fruition through your thought and action focus? What will we bring forth out of this Twilight-zone?


This post is thanks to A Chronic Voice link-up. This month, the topics were returning, understating, distancing, stressing, and celebrating. Each writer takes the given topics and gives them their own spin. Check out these wonderful writers at April 2020 Linkup (scroll past the prompts to find the linked up posts).






Thank you for visiting my blog today. 
I am committing to posting once a week on Fridays.  
However, as you know, my new normal means that sometimes 
I have to listen to my body and am not able
to follow through as planned. 
Thank you for your understanding.
Click link Subscribe to Pain FULLY Living Weekly Posts by Email

Times They Are a-Changin'

A lotus flower begins growing at the bottom of a muddy, murky pool, and slowly emerges toward the surface, bursting out of the water into a beautiful blossom. During the night the lotus closes and sinks under the water, and emerges again with the sunlight of a new day. As the lotus flower emerges from the mud, and up toward the surface it is completely unstained.

Bob Dylan was right. The times are continually changing whether small or major.  Change is a part of life.  However, change, whether good or bad, brings a certain amount of stress, and that stress can bring on a flair for those of us with chronic conditions such as Fibromyalgia.

Since November of last year, it's felt like one pretty big change after another in my family: changes in health, changes in jobs, changes in homes.  My first reaction tends to be a pulling back, in my mind and body.  I stiffen, literally, as if to strengthen or to push back on the change. This can lead then to tension in my shoulders and chest which triggers in me a sense of anxiousness.

What I'm purposefully working on is leaning in.  Leaning into the change like a trust fall.  Breathing and being present in this moment, reminding myself that I'm safe, secure, and supported.  That my family, we are in this together, and we'll all be all right as long as we stick together.  This means that we share at a deep level, knowing that we can make it through anything.

This is bringing a new perspective to change.  Change that at first seems like a disaster, turns out to be just the kick in the butt that was needed to move to the next level in our lives. It ends up being a major blessing.  The prospect of change is now exciting and full of potential, making me open up my imagination for what I can create out of this next part of my life.

As the daughter of a mom with bipolar/schizophrenia, I heard again and again that just as things were going good, it would turn and storms would come. She would tell me that if things get really good, then prepare for them to get equal parts horrible.  At that tender age, I took that as a life lesson that has kept me on my toes, waiting for the anvil to fall at any moment.  However, now I realize that this was her reality, one which she really didn't understand.  She'd fly high for a time and then crash.  It was what she understood to be the way of life.  I'm just now realizing that I had this underlying belief coloring my entire life.

This last week, I went on a vacation that I was hesitant to take.  It was coming at a time of major change for my children, and I felt that I needed to be around to help them through.  I didn't think I could enjoy the time away.  Right up to the night before we left, I was tensing up, bracing for the worst.  I only went because my husband really felt we needed to go (and we'd already committed to the condo with my brother and sister-in-law).

After the November 2016 fire ripped through
Gatlinburg and Anakeesta Theme Park,
the community came together to rebuild
this favorite tourist attraction. 
When we visited the fall of 2019, we could still
see scars of the fire but they didn't compare
to the new beauty that was present.

The time away was so good.  We went to a place we'd never been to- Gatlinburg, TN. My brother-in-law chose our destination.  It's not a place that Kelley and I would normally visit.  But, I think, it was just what I needed to let go, getting a bit wild and silly.  My sister-in-law is one of the most caring, real, and hilarious people I know.  We did things that neither of us would have normally, but with the four of us, we did.  Tonya conquered her fear of heights by walking among the tops of the mountains over a glass, swaying bridge. I tried moonshine-nearly all 13! To conclude our week, she and I each got a symbolic tattoo.  It is Tonya's first.  She remembered her mom, gone 15 years now, with a Rose-of-Sharon and her mom's signature copied exactly from the note her mom had written to her 40 years ago.

I got a lotus on my inner left arm.  It's something I will see often reminding me that I am strong and have come out again and again to show my beauty. I'm reborn daily.  Daily I am changing.

This last week, I didn't take any pain medication.  I was able to get up in the morning and be alert and active all day (with a bit of a rest in the afternoon between activities). My symptoms from the Fibro are there but much more in the background. I'm feeling like I can be recreated, just like the lotus, each day is a brand new start. Times of change are times of celebration, growth, potential to recreate my self.  I'm choosing to lean in and enjoy!

4/10/20 Update: Due to COVID-19, Akaneesta Park is closed until the #stayhome #staysafe orders have lifted.  They working on even more additions and improvements this year. To say that our world is facing enormous change from this pandemic is an understatement.  But, I have faith, that we will come out the better and stronger.  Mother Earth has given us the kick in the butt we need to make substantial changes to how we treat both her and each other.

Are you open to change?  Do you balk at it? What have you learned from the changes in your life?

Thank you for visiting my blog today. 

I am committing to posting once a week on Fridays.  

However, as you know, my new normal means that sometimes 

I have to listen to my body and am not able to follow through as planned. 

Thank you for your understanding.

Click link Subscribe to Pain FULLY Living Weekly Posts by Email