What is Your Essential? Staying Grounded during COVID-19 Pandemic

In Michigan, Governor Whitmer declared a shelter-in-place order that went into effect 3/23/20 at midnight. "The order directs Michigan residents to stay in their homes unless they’re a part of what the governor is calling 'essential infrastructure workforce," which includes health care workers, law enforcement, water and wastewater personnel, and transportation workers. In addition, residents can leave their home if they are engaged in an outdoor activity, or performing tasks necessary to the health and safety of themselves or their family, like going to the hospital or grocery store, under the order."

My son, who works at a large Michigan grocery chain, Meijer, has been declared essential and received a letter to carry to show it.

Please, keep in mind that these
essential workers are doing what
they can so that the rest of us are
able to #staysafe #stayhome.
Be Kind, patient, and flexible.

The Thursday before the shelter-in-place order, he had come down with a fever of 100o.  First, he called into work (Meijer is paying wages for anyone who has to quarantine) and then he called his doctor.  He had a sore throat for a few days prior and a gunky nose. The medical screener said that he most likely didn't have the virus due to the fever being under 103o and that should it break, he could go back to work the next day. 

Our daughter-in-law contacted us to let us know what was happening and to cancel the playdate we had planned for the day with our granddaughter.  Up until that moment, I thought I wasn't being affected by all that was going on. I started to bawl, feeling like I was outside of my body. Logically, I know that Andrew is healthy and young and doesn't fall into the at-risk group for a severe reaction to COVID-19.  But, logic wasn't a part of that gut reaction.

Fear Creates Instability

I began to feel disorientated, my chest got tight, and I could tell that I was getting panicky.  A sense of instability, like I've felt when hiking on a narrow rim of a trail traversing side of a mountain; one wrong step could cause a headlong tumble.

Thankfully, my husband came upstairs just at that moment and seeing me cry, he comforted me that Andrew would be all right by telling me what I already know. Then, he suggested we go for a walk in the woods.

Looking up into the sky through
the pine trees, makes me feel
 small yet safe.

I walked mindfully, looking up through the evergreens into the serene blue skies-focusing and taking time to really notice.  Breathing deeply, I savored in the earthy smell of damp pine needles and black soil underfoot. As the birds twittered (still want to look up what that bird was), the bright sun broke through splotchy clouds, warming our faces. I stooped down to feel the soft, cool moss on an egg-shaped rock. The emerald colors were brilliant compared to the dead brown of the oak leaves it sat in. 

Nature's early Easter Egg:)

Breathing in the cool, fresh air, slowly in and out through my nose while practicing belly breathing (diaphragmatic breathing), the unease in my chest and shoulders abated.  I began to get my footing, feeling the fear being replaced with grounding.  

The next day, his fever was gone and he went back to work that evening. That day, we had a wonderful overnight stay with my granddaughter, who lights up our lives and brings us all a sense of purpose.

Having this sweetheart
love me so unconditionally
makes me be braver and stronger.

What's Your Essential?

And so, to stay grounded, I review what is my essential. Truly essential.  For me: genuinely connecting with those I love, fortifying my health, soaking in nature, and living with purpose through my thoughts, words, and deeds are the essentials I need to live a FULL life which emanates love.

Here's what I'm practicing daily to ground (helping to heal not only myself but the world around me):

• Mediation: There are several free, on-line resources but this is one that I'm using by Jeff Warren (besides the 8-week course I'm still taking).  
• Zoom gatherings with family: We're trying to do some normal things we'd do together albeit virtually. Yesterday, we had a coloring party.  Tonight, we're all going to have a bowl of ice cream as we chat.

  

  Each of us sat at our tables and colored a picture
  while chatting away.  It seemed almost
  like they were physically in the room.

• Breathwork (a form of meditation): https://breathworksummit.com/
• Yoga: I have a subscription to Gaia.com, but also am participating in a few "live" online classes, and Yoga For Chronic Pain and Fatigue
• Writing: Poetry and my blog mostly at this time. 

• Creating and learning: photo album pages, learning to play the baritone ukulele via YouTube, studying for MSBR course, and Master Class fiction writing course.
• Reading: Currently, I'm reading The Fibro Food Formula by Dr. Ginevra Lipton and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@#$% (which I will be writing about next week most likely). 
• Connecting: I've started phone dates with my mom-in-law and friends once a week. Also, created a way for my neighbors to help one another (by sharing shopping trips, info, and things like books, puzzles, and games).
• Getting outside: so far, mostly for walks in the woods, but soon for yard clean-up, and today for a chilly kayak trip around the lake.
• Getting projects and cleaning the house that have been neglected (even though I've been retired now for one year). Today-organize the game drawer:) 

This may lead to a raucous game
of Skip-Bo for Kelley and me😁

And so, while these are scary times, I'm choosing to focus on what's essential to help me stay grounded.  This is what's important. This is what makes meaning.  This is what heals.  I feel that if we each do this, we can bring equilibrium to the worlds inside and outside of us.

Thank you to all the essential workers who are risking their own health to protect, feed, heal, supply, transport, and care.  You are so appreciated for all that you are doing. Thank you to the employers, too, that have made plans to protect and care for their employees during this time. 

What are your essentials?  How are you staying grounded?

Thank you for visiting my blog today. 

I am committing to posting once a week on Fridays.  

However, as you know, my new normal means that sometimes 

I have to listen to my body and am not able to follow through 

as planned. 

Thank you for your understanding.

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Acceptance is my Superpower- Living Fully with Fibro

Accepting that I will have pain, allows me to
experience it without angst, going forth as much
as possible to do the things that bring me joy.

I am a problem solver.  It has served me well in my 55 years of life. However, I have had to realize that I also am a self-appointed controller and fixer of all that I see.  This means my problem-solving mode is going 24/7, even in my sleep. This is not healthy.

While my take charge and fix things instinct has been helpful throughout my life and career as a teacher, it's now one that I really need to turn off.  Feeling like I need to fix things is a form of not accepting my life.  And that resistance to my present, always striving to fix and be better than things are, leads to anxiety, sadness, discontentment.  What I need this new year is contentment for the life that I have here and now.

Now, I don't mean I plan to sit on the couch and watch life go by with a smile on my face.  I just mean that I am going to accept the things that life brings me, just as they are. Accept the truth of my life and situation.  I will feel the pain (literally and figuratively), however, I don't have to rile against it. And by letting go of the struggle, I can be relieved of the suffering.

So, I feel the sadness or pain without trying to change it,
allowing it to be because this is what is,
and then I move forth.

Acceptance is Action

This past summer, I began Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with my pain psychologist at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation.  It was hard to wrap my head around accepting the pain, brain fog, utter depletion of energy that fibromyalgia had brought into my life.  The fight against these restraints wore me down until I couldn't function any longer. Many of my friends have even commented on how pro-active I was being in dealing with this foe. However, the constant search and trying new ways of healing is frustrating, exhausting, and in the end, taking up too much of my precious life.

So, I will accept that I have fibromyalgia.  I will listen to what my body and mind need.  I will meditate, move and nourish my body, and focus on living purpose-FULLY (see my last post). With the tug-o-war rope dropped, I will breathe into my present whether there be pain or no.  I will accept and love myself instead of seeing her as incomplete and wanting.

Superhero-in-training

Acceptance is my super-power, but it needs developing through continuous choosing it and then practicing it.  Yesterday, I woke up pretty alert.  I felt rusted all over with noticeable pain in my left hip, but I was excited to write.  After writing most of this post, my husband suggested we go snowshoeing.  The snow was a fresh covering of glistening white fluff, and soft flakes continued to float as if the world was a snow globe recently shook.  Knowing we would be having our 4-year-old grand-daughter overnight for New Year's Eve, I was hesitant.  

However, getting out in nature and exercising are two of my five priorities for living purposefully, so I agreed.  While outside, trailblazing through the light snow breathing in the crisp, invigorating winter air, I felt a glimpse of myself before Fibromyalgia.  Last winter, I spent much of it in bed and missed going for these adventures.  Being we can go out our door into the woods, we did a 40 or so minute trek.  By the end, I could feel my hip getting angry.  So, when I got home, I used the hot pad and worked on breathing through it.  I also decided to take a nap before I had to turn on grandma-mode.  Accepting the pain allowed me to have fun I haven't done in a couple of years; accepting my limitations led me to rest and repair.

My Kryptonite

However, all was not hunky-dory last night.  I was up much of the night with pain in my arms (as if I had rock climbed all day) as well as both hips fighting to take turns as to which pain was more intense.  This is where my resolve gets weak.  I tend to get a bit panicky and frustrated to tears at times like this.  However, I'm proud of myself.  I belly breathed for 20 minutes, reminding myself of the fun we had through positive, mantra-type repeated phrases.  I used the heating pad, did some myofascial release with the yoga ball, and watched some laugh-out-loud comedian clips on YouTube (thank you, Michael McIntyre), finally falling asleep around 3am.  This morning, I woke up feeling unusually energized. I'm not saying it was from last night, but I really was surprised at how good I felt.  

And So I Commit

This next month of entries, I've decided to really focus on acceptance: how it affects the brain, how it affects mood, and how it ultimately affects a life.  I'll be using my own journey by practicing acceptance as well as recent research and others' stories to hopefully show how to do this and its impact. 

What does acceptance mean to you?  Does it seem like giving in?  Does it feel impossible?  

Thank you for visiting my blog today. 

I am committing to posting once a week on Fridays.  However, as you know,

my new normal means that some times I have to listen to my body and am
not able to follow through as planned. Thank you for your understanding.

Click link Subscribe to Pain FULLY Living Weekly Posts by Email